In a typical case of political correctness becoming the norm, educrats have banned references to "monkeys", "cake", "candles" and dozens of other topics in city-issued tests.
That's because they fear such topics "could evoke an understanding of the world outside of the students' own personal boxes."
Monkeys, for instance, are mentioned in some talks of evolution. This might upset fundamentalists. Cake is eaten on birthdays and birthdays are not celebrated by Jehovah's Witnesses. Also, cake is eaten at weddings and it might upset children that do not have married parents and children that are not married themselves. The word "cake" could also make fat children hungry. Candles suggest paganism. And are used by the Amish. And are put on birthday cakes and we already know that cake is a bad word.
Even "dancing" is taboo, because some children just do not like to dance or are really not very good at it. But, the city did make an exception for the word "taboo".
The forbidden topics were recently [censored] out in a [censored] for proposals provided to [censored] competing to revamp city [censored], math, [censored] social-studies tests given [censored] a [censored] to [censored] [censored] [censored].
“Some topics may be acceptable in other contexts but do not belong in a Nazi regime or any other totalitarian state. Hail Big Brother!” the request reads, just before it was burned by the firemen.
Any word suggtesting wealth or poverty or anything in between is excluded. Educators do not want poor children to be jealous or rich children to be smug. Mathematics is, similarly, being done away with so children will not have any comprehension as to how rich or poor they are in the first place. There will no longer be any reference to divorce or disease as schools do not want children to realize that people sometimes go through bad times. Same-sex marriage is still a safe topic as it would be politically incorrect to avoid it.
Officials say such exclusions are normal procedure in any society that wants to white wash and brainwash their children.
“This standard language allows our students to complete practice exams without distraction,” said a Department of Education spokeswoman, insisting it’s not censorship. The spokeswoman then became incessed with this reporter for calling her a "spokeswoman". "That word evokes thoughts of gender," he or she insisted and the spokesperson then kicked this reporter in the shins a number of times.
Guidelines recently published in the creation of new high-stakes exams have also cautioned against mentioning other words that might distract or excite young children, such as: boogers, paste, recess, summer, butt, reverse mortgage, colonoscopy and ice cream (which goes right out with the dreaded cake).
The city asks test companies to exclude “creatures from outer space,” because if any of the students are really aliens in disguise it might make them uncomfortable. Homes with swimming pools are also unmentionable due to economic sensitivity. The city said nothing against homes with bowling alleys, polo grounds nor against the owners of major league athletic teams or leaders of small island nations.
City officials also asked that test makers refrain from mentioning animals or inanimate objects with human characteristics. For instance, shoes, corn stalks, chairs and clocks cannot be talked about as they have tongues, ears, arms and faces respectively. As for the animals, the Muppets could not be reached for comment.
Terrorism is deemed too scary, as are clowns, principals and girl cooties.
Some big College "professor" said, “If the goal is to assess higher-order thinking skills, controversial topics, for example, ones that are the subject of political debate, are exactly what students should be reasoning about.” The "professor" has been taken to Room 101 for some re-conditioning.
The above article is a direct spoof of this article:
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/out_of_the_question_YegJJGCOo33j0CQsccdZuL
The author would like to point out, I am not spoofing the article itself as much as I am the topic of the article.
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